No Christmas
24 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in General Blog Tags: christmas, christmas songs, Radio 2, red wine
Here we go round the mulberry bush again. Christmas has finally caught up with us. Thank god for that. Soon be all over, done, dusted and discarded for another twelve months. Never before have I felt in such anti-Christmas mode. Now I’ve finished work; the full reality this festive season is well and truly upon us has hit right between the eyes. Boy it’s hurting.
I usually tolerate all the nonsense. I’ve found in recent years my enthusiasm for anything yuletide related has dwindled significantly. The same old repetitive cycle every year. The true meaning has almost well and truly been bunged out the window. I don’t even feel the aspects I previously enjoyed such as the imagery and tunes. In fact I have found Christmas tunes becoming quite unbearable. If I hear those seasonal chancers Wood, Holder, Rea orLakeone more time, I shall scream very loud from the window of HQ. With any luck the police (who are stationed across the road) might hear and cart me away. That’s what you get for listening to Radio 2 twelve hours a day!
I’m torn between a fine line whether I have hit depression or simply feeling a touch of severe miserabilism. 
The latter I would suggest. It dawned on me how rubbish Christmas actually is. I know I’ll be told it’s because I’m a middle-aged man without kids. Possibly some truth in that I really couldn’t speculate. A man dressed as Santa Claus was sitting outside Tesco this morning jolly as can be. I felt so enraged I simply wanted to punch him. Sorry to shatter the dream but he really doesn’t exist. He had a flask by his side for crying out loud. Santa with a flask just isn’t right.
Oh dear me not so really as lodged in the mire as what the first few paragraphs suggest! I blame the grumpy guide to Christmas which I watched the other night. Felt like a right grouch agreeing with every single issue raised. I mean it really is bloody pointless. Just because we’re celebrating the alleged birth of Christ doesn’t mean we have to be happy. All the usual issues we have buried in our personas will remain. To make matters worse most of us indulge so much (me included) that post-festive blues will undoubtedly kick in 2nd January. Ate too much, drank too much and then entering what I think is by far the worst month of the year. A new diet beckons!
On the bright side not long after midday and I indulge in a glass of red (or two!). This is the beginning of two and a bit days of nothing but eating, drinking and attempting to be merry. Well I for one am not going to be jolly but swamped in a wave of cynical miserabilism! Granted you can get away with more excess and ridiculous behaviour this time of year than any other. Shopping trolleys were full of excess purchases which will inevitably end up for the dustman to cart away next week. I have concluded the whole darn exercise is pointless yet still I find myself succumbing to the same pitfalls as everyone else.
Even the weather here in the International Republic Of East Anglia is letting us down. I mean the sun shines magnificently! No chance of a white Christmas here! Mind you been there and done that admittedly!
Still there are always the soaps to chuckle at. But they tread the same path these days. Both Corrie and the Enders are on for an hour Xmas day. Sure as Phil Collins needs a punch you can guarantee the first half hour will be all jolly, smiley and happy before things kick off. Seen the trailer for Eastenders and the Queen Vic was on fire. For crying out loud (Pat) is that the best they can come up with? Ok granted I don’t recall the busiest pub in theUKever burning to the ground Christmas Day but it reeks of a lack of ideas.
I’m hoping – to sparkle things up – Phil Mitchell hits the neat vodka or even better go back on the crack cocaine. There is nothing finer than watching the bald headed one swagger around the square pissed as a newt. Sure they’ve done it a thousand times when they run out of ideas for the hard man mechanic but it still has me in fits of laughter. Pat is getting killed off new year. The square won’t be the same without those spangly over the top earrings. Surely time to bring Frank Butcher back from the dead.
All I can say is thank god Christmas does come but once a year. You may wish it would be Christmas every day Roy Wood but I for one can inform you you’re wrong. Now if you’d have suggested you wished it would be Christmas Day every day I can appreciate that concept. What’s not to like about a day where one does nothing but over indulge and get some free gifts? Having said that I think we might find it becomes a bit boring and tedious after a period of time. Not that you give a toss once those seasonally enhanced royalty cheques come flooding in early new year. Once a year is enough. Quite enough thank you.
