Drop The Debt (Part Two) Anger Management

Thursday 4^th February 2010

Since getting help and advice about my debt problems a few weeks ago, I’ve finally managed to pluck up courage and speak to some of the people I owe to.  This is a big step as anyone who’s had to deal with major debt will confirm.  Arming myself with informative leaflets supplied by those nice people at the National Debt Helpline, I felt ready to face the music.  After all, dealing with a problem goes an awful long way to solving it.

As previously reported, at its height my phones were going off at least twenty times a day.  I resorted to taking the ringer off the mobile.  As much as I love ‘I’ve Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts’ (it’s played over the tannoy at Cambridge United when we win home games… so not too often this season!) the sheer volume of calls reduced the tune to nothing more than an irritating annoyance of Mick Hucknell proportions.  Thankfully it’s now won a place in my heart once more!  Well, it’s rarely played at home games given the team’s current terrible home form.  Last outing was after a barely deserved 1-0 win against bottom of the table Chester City on a damp, crisp, ruddy darn freezing mid December evening.  Best thing about that game was the half time soup and the fact we did manage to get the three points.

On advice from someone who’s been through the same thing, I took the time and trouble to write to every creditor, informing them of my situation; enclosing evidence of benefits and the letter I received from Citizens Advice Bureau regarding my forthcoming appointment with a financial advisor.  I also specifically requested that I did not, as is my legal right to do so, want to be contacted by telephone but by e mail or post only.

If there’s one thing I know about these people is they’re persistent… really persistent!  Not unreasonable in some ways since after all it’s me that owes them the money but they can be rude, arrogant, threatening and hound you in a way that is nothing short of bullying.  I’ve been here before; not as serious as now but I know what they can be like, hence refusing to answer my phone previously.

As I’ve stated before I’ve let it slip way too far preferring to go down the route of ignoring the problem instead of tackling it.  I stumbled through 2009 muttering to myself, “something will come up”… but something didn’t and it wasn’t until I sat down and worked out the finer details of the figures I realized what an appalling mess I’d got meself into.  So I spent the best part of half a day preparing these letters to each individual creditor.  It did, I have to admit, feel darn good to be finally getting my ass into gear and actively doing something about it.  I still feel a bit embarrassed I let it slip so far but no point dwelling on the matter; the phrase ‘better late than never’ was most certainly ringing true in this case.

Having studied letters received, I plucked up the courage to actually phone a couple.  Based on the threatening nature of the correspondence; the two really needed to be told, in person, to basically back off.  What appals me about it most is the way they bully people into submission.  I was a victim of it myself late in 2008, in a rare moment of letting my guard drop, when I was briefly living at mums.  I got a call of a threatening nature and since I was in her abode, panicked and paid the whole lot off in one go using another card.  If only I knew then what I know now!  First rule of debt is similar to the first rule of broadcasting…. Don’t panic!

I phoned these two debtors and had vastly contrasting experiences (both were women incidentally).  The first one was salt of the earth; really lovely and very sympathetic.  She explained to me I was a good customer and had only missed a couple of payments and they’d be more than happy to accept a pound a week.  This is where I’d made the fatal error of not dealing with it sooner; most companies will accept a small token payment and I do regret not getting advice sooner since it’d been slowly buy surely hurtling out control for around a year.  Again, no need to dwell, what’s happened has happened.

The second couldn’t have been different; I spoke to a hard as nails Irish woman who was demanding to know aspects such as what the heck I’d been living on since I haven’t made a payment in six months.  I guess she had a more forceful approach since the debt was more substantial and it’d been longer since my last repayment.  She tediously ordered me to go through my income and expenditure business.  I got the distinct impression she frowned upon me when I said I’d probably have to go bankrupt as she detected I was taking the easy way out.  In all probability it was most likely time of the month or she’d had a row with her bloke.  Fair enough, we all have bad days!  I should know if they dished out degrees on the subject I would have got a first no problem whatsoever.  Although not so much recently as my karma has mellowed dramatically.

Now let’s get one thing straight; I do not take the notion of bankruptcy lightly.  Unfortunately my carefree attitude to debt and money has led me down this road.  In all honesty I never meant to not pay these people and that carefree attitude laced with my ‘something will come up’ theory both combined lethally to set this particular path.  Everything happens for a reason. In that wonderful thing, hindsight, the only way for me to learn once and for all was end up in the mess I find myself currently in.  I feel embarrassed and humbled and I hope, if your one of my friends, you don’t think any less of me.  I’m not perfect (who is apart from Francis Rossi and Rick Parfitt?) and if there’s one thing I consistently do in life is learn from mistakes.  It’s the only way to progress forwards.  Some of my friends think I put myself down too much but in reality when I slag myself off, I’m just taking the piss.  I know I’m a genius but unfortunately a lazy arsed genius which I sometimes think has stalled progression somewhat.

One thing I don’t do very often with other people is lose my temper.  I do with Football Manager when I think the game is cheating and I lose a match I should easily win.  However I have dramatically mellowed on this front remembering it’s only a fucking game and its football and just about any stupid ‘unrealistic’ result can happen.  Manchester Utd 0 Leeds Utd 1 in the 3^rd round of the FA Cup this season…. One rests one case!

I’ve had my moments with temper loss towards other people over the years, sometimes with family but most often with jobsworth idiots working for establishments such as banks and credit cards.  I clearly remember the last time I raged at one of these bods; sometime in 2007 I got a call from student loans.  I was having one of those bad mornings when I couldn’t get myself into gear and even numerous amounts of coffee couldn’t awaken me.  The thing embarrasses me about this particular tantrum is that it was completely trivial.  I got the hump cos the woman asked me for a password to my account.  Not an unreasonable request I feel but strangely I took offence and went into some ridiculous foam mouthed rant, the content of which I remember little about.  As I recall she just thought I was a twat and hung up.

This finally brings me to the point of the anger management title (three and a half word 2003 pages in!!).  For the first time since that bad 2007 morning, I managed to irritate someone so much they hung up on me.  This particular number had been calling a lot this past week and was beginning to piss me off to the extent that I had to answer.  I was curious as to who it was since it’d been nearly 2 weeks since I sent those letters out asking them not to call.  It was the first company I phoned when I dealt with the nice sympathetic woman. You get so many calls you know which numbers are consistently hounding but not which company it is specifically when you bottle out and refuse to answer.  A few do make themselves known by leaving a message but I’ve found them few and far between.

So anyway this chap (yes it was a bloke for a change!) who seemed very professional and mild mannered asked me the obligatory security questions then prompted me to make the minimum payment there and then.  Well, I just saw red.  Redder than I can ever recall in my life.  Redder than when I lost the play off final to Mansfield with a 121^st minute goal on Football Manager 2008 (it didn’t help that I was playing as my beloved Cambridge United that game, where passion always rises a temperature or ten!).  As I’m sure you can detect I was absolutely stark raving bonkers fuming.  In fact I would suggest it was the angriest I think I’ve ever been.

I started ranting, really ranting.  My heart rate soared to levels never previously explored.  Poor chap could hardly get a word in.  I was harping on about how it was illegal to be phoning me up, its harassment, you can’t do this, I have no money and a barrage of nonsensical claptrap I can’t actually recall.  I probably just kept repeating myself over and over again I think.  The man tried to stay as calm as he could, I’m sure these folk are used to such abuse, part of the job and all that but I went beyond the call of duty I feel.  Amazingly I didn’t swear which is surprising considering, at times, I enjoy swearing for fun!

There was a nice moment when I paused, took stock of the situation and said ‘look mate I know you’re only doing your job’ before 10p was stuck up my bottom, the handle wound up and I was off again.  More foam spilling from me mouth, a heart beating faster than I can ever recall with a face redder than Sir Alex of Ferguson when things don’t go his way.  I was already peeved that they had phoned in the first place but what really sent my ranting into overdrive was when the chap told me I had to phone another department and explain my situation to stop the phone calls.  Well that statement did nothing to help things or lighten my mood; “don’t you people ever liaison? I’ve told you not to phone so don’t phone.  You’re breaking the law, do you know that?” etc. etc. etc.

I even went into the murky waters of political incorrectness.  The chap was evidently not from these shores; couldn’t pinpoint the accent but definitely not English, Welsh, Scottish or Irish.  At one point I asked him if he understood English which was the point where he hung up.  What I actually meant was did he understand English law on the matter.  I detected he was offended by this statement and suspect I hit his breaking point. So instead of ranting back, he thought a better option would be to hang up.  Well, I’m sure you know what it’s like when you’re ranting like a deranged fool and words come tumbling out the cake hole with no thought, rhyme or logical reason.

In the unlikely event the chap in question ever reads this blog I do truly apologize as I went a bit over the top.  It was sheer frustration at my own appalling circumstance and a more diplomatic approach would’ve been better.  Still I learnt from the lesson and the learning curve of life continues.  At the end of the day I just needed to get a good rant out my system and it was sheer frustration.  Whilst I do feel sorry for the bloke, that rant had to be done.  I feel so much better now, got a lot of that aggravation out and as a result am much calmer about it all.

This is most good because I have another company on my back right now.  They wrote to me today threatening to send one of their debt collectors round (ooh I’m soooo scared!).  Actually I found a letter from them dated last November regarding another debt where they were insinuating someone would be round for a payment within 48 hours.  They phone me usually every other day and always leave a message.  In fairness with this debt they’ve just taken it on from the credit card, so I haven’t contacted them.  I have written them a letter telling them to back off and I do intend to answer my phone if they call me at a convenient time.

It then got me thinking… why should I feel a hint of guilt at companies who relentlessly chase me, bully me, send threatening letters and just about stay within the confides of the law?  Maybe I might have another rant at them, it’s not like I know these people and do they give a shit who I am?  They’re only doing their job and are well used to such a reaction.  So when it’s convenient I shall answer me phone and we’ll see how it goes… I could be mild mannered or there might be fireworks.  Expect a report next blog!

Drop The Debt (Part One)

Wednesday 3^rd February 2010

My debt problems are coming to a head right now.  It’s not something I’m particularly ashamed off, slightly embarrassed maybe but I take a little comfort by the fact it’s me and just about half the nation right now.  I won’t go into the ins, outs and finer details of the whole pantomime but am honest enough to admit I never should have let it spiral the way it did.  Life remains a learning curve and this past year I’ve discovered just how easy it is to let things escalate out of control.  In life we have many choices and this past year I’ve been bordering on aspects that could have had a serious effect on my very existence.  My soul may have been slightly tarnished but I feel I’m fighting much fitter and as a person am coming out stronger than ever.

I, being the optimistic type of chap I am, like to look on the bright side; I could so easily be a reforming alcoholic right now for example.  I could still be 4 stone heavier as I was 8 months ago or suffering dangerous depression levels which I flirted with during parts of 2009.  If owing a few (well let’s just say more than a few in my case) quid to a bunch of twerps who were stupid enough to give me the credit in the first place is the worst it’s going to get right now, that’s fine by me.  I hold my hands up and admit I am (or was) terrible with other people’s money.  I feel as though I’ve learnt my lesson the hard way however.

I guess I’m in the lucky situation that despite my advancing years, I still have little responsibility.  There are no kids to provide for or mortgage to manage.  I’ve secure social housing paid for by the messiah Mr Brown (and damn nice it is too!), Brown is also taking care of council tax plus my utility bills are all up to date and paid for.  Therefore I have no immediate concerns about homelessness or electricity supply getting cut off.

Obviously in these situations them you owe dosh to get a little irate.  Not unreasonable but that’s the risk you take if you lend money in the first place.  Having done plenty of research into the matter, it’s actually quite incredible how the law for the useless, rubbish borrower is firmly on their side.  If there’s one thing the government has done for the good is to tighten up legislation in favour of the consumer.

I’ve been flirting with debt for years; just about managing to keep it under control but always at least 5 years away from paying it off.  With me floating from radio job to radio job in an unsettled environment laced with periods of unemployment and 4 years at college as a mature student, I just accepted that’s the way things were going to be for the foreseeable future.  Even when I left a well paid job to move down to East Anglia 18 months ago, I still had a loose and carefree attitude to finances which stretched as far as a couple of months ago when the realisation it was all getting way out of manageable levels.  I can blame various aspects such as long-term unemployment but given the amount of credit I possessed, had I tightened control right from the start I wouldn’t be in the position I find myself in now.  I judge that half the debt was for necessities and half down to slapdash overspending.

In all honesty it’s great to be cutting off the ties and almost certainly declaring myself bankrupt as a lesson needed to be learnt.  Had I been a little more prudent, I could have carried on for longer with enormous debts strangling my neck but I think in the process of my own life I need this to happen so I can change my ways and attitudes when it comes to finances.  I’ve been irresponsible but when you have a seemingly bottomless pit at your disposal, it’s just too damn easy to continue with reckless spending and worry about the consequences ‘tomorrow’.  Well ‘tomorrow’ has arrived and I’m relived to be finally doing something about it at last.

The lenders have to take responsibility for their actions.  How the hell did I end up with eight (yes eight!) credit cards?  An example when I was asked to apply for one when I was strolling through Belfast Airport en route to catching an Amsterdam bound flight.  I explained I was unemployed and the representatives informed me I might as well apply anyway.  A couple of weeks later, a nice shiny new card with a limit of three grand arrived on my doorstep.  My (former) bank gave me an extra five grand in 2008 despite me having just moved to East Anglia with no job.

So much as I admit my irresponsibility lenders must take some as well.  The copulas amount of credit hurtled my way was beyond ridiculous.  Ok, so in this case I’ve been given an inch and taken a mile but it’s no wonder debt level has escalated so severely when such stupid credit levels were levied in the first place.  They only have themselves to blame and for that I don’t lose a wink of sleep through feeling guilty.  My appointment with a financial adviser is next week and I heartily look forward to it so I can put the whole thing to bed once and for all.

I don’t feel alone in all this; most folk I’ve spoken to have been amazingly supportive and I’ve discovered a number of friends who’ve been through the same thing.  At least in this day and age it’s not frowned upon so much.  If you find yourself getting into serious debt do something about it.  I spent months with my phone ringing 20 times a day which certainly doesn’t help stress levels.  They’re tricky people to deal with and will threaten you as far as the law allows.  They prey on the vulnerable and those who don’t know the law.  They’re pests who won’t leave you be till you take a firm grip on the matter.  My only concern and one which put me off taking action sooner is I’m dreading the financial hardships in the immediate future.  I concluded it’s a small price to pay for peace of mind and for me, it’s the only way I can guarantee I will be more financially responsible in the future.  Everything happens for a reason.

Hello February!

Monday 1^st February 2010

Hurrah, today I’m celebrating the end of January and the start of a new week and new month.  Well psychologically celebrating with coffee and tobacco, two of my greatest passions in life.  What a rum old month it turned out to be; an overabundance of bad weather and post festivity blues.  I’ve been suffering from a touch of the old man flu over the weekend so the entire period was spent slumped in the armchair sipping Lemsip watching darts coverage on ITV4.  Oh and Andy Murray getting his behind firmly whipped by dull Roger in the tennis.  Shame really, thought Murray was going to do it but one thing’s for sure; his talents piss all over Tim Henman’s from quite a considerable height.  And with time on his side, his day will eventually come; it just wasn’t to be yesterday.  There’s no questioning he has what it takes to win a grand slam.  I blame January meself!

So I feel somewhat glad this fine East Anglian morning (sun shining brightly but remaining awfully cold) my muse has returned and I feel possessed with a vigorous desire to pen some words of wisdom.  I took the bold step of stepping on the scales for the first time since before Christmas this morning.  Whilst not as big a disaster as what I predict, I was still disappointed to find I’ve put on half a stone this past month.  As I always remark in such a crisis, no point beating myself up about it but get on with the job in hand.  This past five weeks has been a haven of excess saturated fat debauchery so I get everything I deserve.  On reflection, I’m not surprised given the excesses of the period.

My theory is this; if I weigh myself on a Monday it should in theory help the diet along as weekends tends to be when I crack.  This weekend was no exception as I did some severe overeating on Saturday.  Still, never mind that’s done and dusted now. Onwards and upwards!  This smashing weather we’ve been experience has definitely helped lift spirits.  This morning, despite the continuing cold, I felt those first tinges of spring festering in the air.  It’s been a long, hard winter for sure but it’s showing signs of finally concluding.  I still think the media made far too much fuss about the whole pantomime.

The latest slab of government spin was released today.  They plan to waste vital resources and time on halving the number of smokers by 2020.  Jesus H Christ won’t they give the issue a break?  Madcap schemes include banning smoking in entrances (not totally unreasonable, granted), taking the labelling off tobacco packets and the banning of vending machines (already going to happen in Scotland who are usually one step ahead in the condemnation of the terrorist smoker).

Enough is enough, why can’t they let it lie?  Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t smoking a legal habit (well unless your smoking dodgy imported tobacco purchased off a Lithuanian in a backstreet pub then I suppose that’s illegal)?  It really gets right up my bugle this continual tightening of smoking related laws.  They don’t complain when they take the excess taxation off the smoker do they?  Like with the claptrap regarding the end of the recession I reported last blog, sadly this is another piece of governmental spin designated to attract non smoking voters.

I remain a responsible smoker.  I accept and abide by current laws and the only places I continue to smoke at all times are in my home and car.  A lot of the anti smoking laws I don’t disagree with but I do object to the continual damnation of what is, after all, a perfectly legal habit.  It seems to me that the powers that be are hell bent on bullying smokers into giving up by making our life as difficult as possible.  More desperate attempts at political correctness vote gaining spin methinks.  My one bad smoking habit that I shamelessly continue to practise is flicking fag ends out the motor when I’m driving.  Every time I do it I feel so guilty, I don’t mean to!  It’s just I been doing it so long that as Chicago once pointed out in their syrupy 80’s ballad ‘It’s A Hard Habit To Break’.

A sign of the times happened at a bash I recently attended via the radio station I volunteer for.  In a group of around 30, there were 2 smokers and when we popped out for a puff, we did actually feel like complete outcasts!  I occasionally hark back to simpler times when you could freely smoke anywhere you so desired.  I’m sure it must still be like that in Africa and South America… maybe I should consider emigrating!

On a happier note, Cambridge United finally got a much needed win last Tuesday in the FA Trophy replay against Eastbourne.  Considering we’d suffered five straight defeats this was most welcome news indeed!  Despite this season being written off as a tax loss, it’s great we’re still in the cup and we play the next round tomorrow at home to Salisbury City.  Dare we dream it’s in our destiny to look forward to another trip to Wembley?  Maybe we might actually think about turning up this time for a change!

The FA Trophy is a wee bit of a dinky tournament but since even challenging for the play offs is looking increasingly unlikely, it could at least give us something to shout about this disappointing season of consolidation.  Plus if you can get to the final, there’s some good money to be made which we can use for a promotion challenge next season (that’s what’s happened with last season’s beaten finalists York City).  This is our 5^th season in the top tier of non league football and we’re getting a little bit too used to it for our own good.

Ling continues to reshape the squad with the usual transfer window incomings and outgoings.  A hard man defender Dave Partridge has signed.  He has 7 caps for Wales and played over 150 games in the Scottish Premier League; he looks just the kind of player we desperately need right now to steady up the defence.  Even more astonishing is former Leeds and Derby defender Seth Johnson is on trial.  He even got a cap for England!  He’s been out the game a few years due to injury but is still only 30 and could do a good job for us if he can get match fit.  Incredibly, Leeds once paid 7 million for him!  Definitely a bit injury prone but if we do sign him, I’d consider it a bit of a coup for our level.

Top scorer Chris Holroyd has gone to pastures new with Brighton so it remains a worry where the goals are going to come from.  Time for the rest of the strikers to stand up and be counted!  Danny Crow is finally showing signs why he once played in the premier league with Norwich City.  Still hopeful that we can get a new striker in but good ones at our level are increasingly difficult to find.

Courtney Pitt, our longest serving player has been shipped out to York on loan with the previously unheard of Simon Russell coming our way on similar terms.  Courtney will always hold a special place in our hearts and we wish him well; it’s probably the right time for him to move on.  When he’s on song, he’s one of the best players in this league… when he’s not interested; they may as well register me as a player and throw me on the pitch.

Pitt could have made it all the way to the top so it’s probably frustrating for the bloke himself that he found himself plying his trade in the lower and non leagues.  You know whose fault it is??? That pasty faced ugliest man in football Harry Redknapp.  Pitt was a regular in the championship for Portsmouth and was even scouted by Barcelona apparently!  Then ‘arry takes over as gaffer, didn’t fancy the Pitt and he found himself drifting from one football outpost to the next before settling at the Abbey stadium.

He’s had a rollercoaster ride at United; twice he’s been transfer listed and was released by Jimmy Quinn in 2008.  Then when Quinn left under mysterious circumstances (brown paper envelopes were rumoured to be involved), next manager Gary Brabin promptly resigned him.  My most memorable Courtney moment was when he scored a screamer of a goal against Salisbury last season. Unforgettable and embarrassing in equal droves, he thought it would be a majestic idea to show the three and a half thousand strong crowd his loud, violently coloured superman underpants.  It’s moments like that which etch in the mind forever!  At least the ref had a sense of humour, amazingly not booking him for such a disturbing public display.  One suspects there’s nothing in the FA rulebook regarding the flashing of disturbing undergarments.  We won 4-0 that day, more of the same against the same opposition tomorrow night please.  Not too much to expect!  Hang on; this is Cambridge United the early 2010 model so it probably is!  A win will do, don’t really care how we get it.

What Claptrap Mr Brown!

Thursday 28^th January 2010

I really should be celebrating tonight.  According to some claptrap spin announced by the government, the recession is over.  Great… that means I should get a job tomorrow, pay off all my outstanding debts and be able to live a nice, luxurious and comfortable life until it’s time to depart to that interest free place in the sky.

Of all the nonsensical garbage I’ve ever seen the head honchos parade to the media, this piece of trash is up there with the best of them.  Recession just doesn’t end because dull boy Brown’s advisor have advised the sour one to announce it.  The millions of unemployed aren’t suddenly going to find themselves back into work whilst businesses aren’t out of nowhere going to be gobsmacked to find their fortunes have changed and turnover significantly increased.

Sadly, this is just a slab of government propaganda designed to attract voters.  That, after all, is all Gordon Brown and his cronies could give a flying toss about right now.  I heard on the news the other day that we’re not too far away from the date of the general election being announced.  Early reports suggest it could be a close one so anything that might possibly gain a few extra votes would be most welcome.

I vote but tend not to get too involved in politics.  I’ve voted across the spectrum in my time, these days preferring the crazy option of the monster raving loony party if it’s a choice, which it seldom is.  Last time out, I went for the greens.  Yes I know they are a bunch of beardy weirdies but actually a lot of their policies make sense.  I’d sooner support a bunch of hippy vegetarians than the mind numbing bores who are lead our main political parties.  I do always steer clear of the radicals such as the racist BNP mind.

Unemployment remains a rum chore.  Since being slammed onto the flexible new deal thingy, I have applied for more jobs but achieved the same amount of brick wall hitting.  I’m not bitter mind, life is definitely too short and I still firmly believe something will come up eventually.  I’m appalled at the amount of money given (50 million quid apparently) to the Haiti disaster considering how severely underfunded so many things are in this country.  My point is, there is always a seemingly endless pot of cash to give to other countries in need yet we don’t seem capable of funding our own house.

I’m not some raving radical racist extremist before you have a go but a sensible, rational kind of chap who remains appalled at the distribution of wealth.  The cost of living here remains astronomical; the rapid rise of essentials such as food and petrol over the last couple of years has been nothing short of scandalous.  Where does all this money go?  I suspect into an emergency pot fund in case of disaster in other far away places.  I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t give but think we need to be rational in our approach to giving.  They continue to find the funds to send our troops to pointless, unwinnable wars in Iraq and Afghanistan but there’s never enough money to fund social housing to reduce appalling waiting lists or help the homeless.

Various charities help alleviate the pressure on government spending.  Sport Aid is the latest one being bandied about.  I’m fed up with famous people telling me to give them my money preferring to chuck a few spare coppers in a shop box or to some nice little old lady collecting in the street.  I’m not against charity but tire of the rich, famous and overpaid parading their silly asses on the television doing wacky stunts in the name of a good cause.

I hope people are stupid enough to see through Brown and his chums and realize from this point on they will do whatever it takes to gain extra votes.  After all they couldn’t really give much of a toss about me, you or those poor folk over in Haiti.  Getting back in power is all that matters to them.  Whoever wins out Brown and Cameron is not going to change things much so I fully expect more of the same.  Still I do find a general election quite exciting!

This will be the first in a long line of government spin injected into the system over the next few months.  Sadly, I feel the more deluded amongst our society will fall for such lying.  Right now it feels like the recession is far from over and I find it somewhat patronizing that the government is telling us it is.

Ugly Head

Monday 25^th January 2010

Another morale sapping defeat at Cambridge United on Saturday hasn’t dampened spirits too much.  Five on the bounce now in the league; a team bereft of confidence, ideas and leadership.  We can’t even see where the next open play goal is coming from yet alone a win. Still at least I shall be in the comfort of my own armchair, listening on the radio, when we play our FA Trophy replay against Eastbourne tomorrow evening.  Wish I had more money as I really fancy going!  What better way to help grapple them January blues than an away trip to a blustery, rainy game on the south coast where you team will most probably lose (again).  As I often state in my blogs, things could be worse… much much worse.

For those poor folk in Haiti things most certainly are.  It would take a persona of Hitler or Mussolini standard not to be moved by recent events over there.  However I find myself becoming increasingly irritated by the wave of a list celebrities getting involved in charitable projects in the name of the cause.

It’s a sad fact of life that we, the punter, seem to only be suitably motivated to donate to a charitable cause when the rich and famous get involved.  Now I’m not a big fan of celebrity charity endorsement at the best of times but since the Haiti disaster, we’re having a sustained period of overdrive on the matter.  Since the bad weather evaporated from ice to mud; news teams up and down the land have been turning their attention to Haiti.  In general bugger all happens in January so for journalistic bods it’s a welcome story that turns attention away from our own miserable existences and makes us feel how lucky we are.

That’s all fair enough and it puts all the fuss and nonsense about the recent weather into prospective.  Unfortunately it now means Haiti needs cash and they need it fast.  What better way to drum up interest by having celebrities parade themselves on all media channels doing their bit for the cause and trying to persuade us to part with some dosh.

Correct me if I’m wrong but are we not in the midst of a global recession?  That ugly can of worms Bob Geldof opened up back in 1984 is rearing its ugly head once more.  Radio felt the fact George Clooney was manning the phones at some US telethon newsworthy.  Big deal!  He mumbled some embarrassingly patronizing nonsense about how we should be helping our neighbours.  I bet he did a token hour before flying back to his LA mansion to stoke up his log fire with unused dollars.

So, at this telethon 140 A list celebrities raised 20 million dollars. A list Hollywood actors make around 20 million per film.  Even the biggest lover of charity can surely see the hypocrisy of the whole thing.  If all them celebrities donated a million each (and let’s face it they can afford it) then a potential 140 million dollars could have been instantly raised.

Even worse is that a UK charity single is planned (no doubt an American one will follow!).  Charity singles are little more than legalised bullying.  This aberration of an idea will be firmly planted in our faces over the next few weeks and already I’m dreading the prospect.  Problem is these days, shit like that is hard to avoid.  It’ll catch me off guard when I’m relaxing in the bath listening to Radio 2.  We’ll be instructed how we have to buy it to help them poor people in distress.  When it comes to charity records, all quality control is bunged out the window since they know they can produce any old mass produced tosh and the ever gullible joe public will lap it up in droves.

I don’t and never have bought the notion that I should buy a song simply because it’s for charity.  I purchase music because I like it and won’t be bullied by plights of them less fortunate than me.  I’m expecting and fully preparing myself for the mass invasion into my existence of this record which, once made, will simply be everywhere.

And even worse than being even worse, Simon Cowell is projecting the whole ruddy thing.  And if that wasn’t bad enough, it’s to be a cover of REM’s ‘Everybody Hurts’.  By far the worst song they ever did, it’s set to be given a new lease of life by over produced wailing pop stars of today.  And Rod Stewart, who at least can sing a bit and still pull blondes half his age and he’s practically a pensioner.  This is fantastic publicity for Mr Cowell whose reputation was tarnished over the Christmas number one fiasco.  Amazing how a wee spot of charity endorsement can change your public face.

I can’t even escape it on Spotify.  John Hurt, in that wonderfully soothing melodramatic voice of his, keeps telling me to donate.  Facebook chums cut n paste pleas for donation via their status updates.  In short, it seems to be everywhere I turn right now which is fair enough but I continue to object to rich and famous people telling me to give money for a charitable cause.

Of course I sympathize with what’s happened but my point is why, in time of a crisis, do we have to rely on the over paid to rally the troops to make donations?  Are we so useless that in order to donate we have to rely on Madonna parading her ass via the media?  There’s plenty of wealth in this world, it’s just the distribution of it that’s extremely unfair.  I also object to my private space being invaded by the rich and famous when I myself am living on the breadline.

Yes my own financial plight is partly down to my own stupid fault and I’m eternally thankful I live in a first world country and compared with lots, in relative luxury.  I’m grateful I have water from the tap (although to be picky the water we receive here in Brandon tastes foul and I use bottled… good god now I feel somewhat pretentious!) and never go hungry.

Sadly the parading of the A list brigade is nothing more than a shameless publicity stunt for their own irrelevant careers.  They care no more about it than the next person.  It looks good…. Damn good in fact if you lend your face to such a cause.  We shouldn’t need records, gigs and events to raise money for Haiti or any other of the thousands of worthwhile causes.  If we can afford a donation then surely we have the ability to get off our own backsides without relying on celebrities coming out the closet to bully us into donating. Evidently not judging by the vast amount of celebrity endorsement surrounding the Haiti earthquake.  A sad sign of the times.  I do hope you see my point.

Awards

Thursday 21^st January 2010

Last night, some of my social networking chums were getting all excited about the National Television Awards by posting numerous musings via the usual channels.  I, on the other hand, was watching a cracking league cup tie between Blackburn and Aston Villa.  A rollercoaster of a game it eventually finished 6-4 to the villa, who can look forward to a day out at Wembley where they will probably be beaten by whichever Manchester side they face.

Reports from the NTA have been appearing everywhere and if you believe what you read or hear, it’s a ceremony of some meaning.  A quick check on Wikipedia and it’s been going since the mid 90’s.  Yet I can’t, despite thinking I at least have half a finger on the pulse of things on occasion, ever remember hearing of it before.  More research and I discover the awards are voted by the general public so categories are labelled ‘most popular’ instead of ‘best’ which is the norm for awards judged by stuffy critics.

Let’s face facts the majority of the general public are rubbish (and I include myself in this rather sweeping and general statement).  They have no qualification to judge programmes on merit but will vote for, say, loveable Geordie rogues Ant n Dec simply because they find the cheeky scamps attractive.  In my experience this is the general rule of thumb.  Its one reason why the old, ugly bloke never wins The X Factor, Steve Brookstein excepted (well there’s always an exception to the rule).

To me there are two reasons for utterly pointless Awards ceremonies like the NTA.  One is to give X and Z list ‘celebrities’ a cracking night out so they can schmooze with the paparazzi, attaining some much needed publicity.  Secondly, it’s a chance for watered down, shallow, rubbish, trashy television shows to get some form of recognition.  I’ve noticed in recent years a number of similar types of award programmes have cropped up…. The national soap awards anyone? Don’t think those dinner suited bods down at the BAFTAS will be soiling their underwear just yet.

Public voting is an excuse for companies like ITV to make some much needed cash.  Ok, so often they donate a wee bit to charity to cover their backs, but believe me this is all about maximize profit.  In any case, due to some more intense research, ITV shamelessly keep all the cash themselves (25p a minute plus a 9p connection fee and you call up to six times – depends how far your obsession for your favourite celebrity goes I suppose).  Obviously the BBC have higher morale, do ITV have no shame?  They even get to pick the nominees themselves!  Although credit where it’s due on first reflection looking at the list, it seems a fair spread of ITV, BBC and Channel 4 programmes.

What’s even funnier is how seriously some of the nominees take the whole darn thing.  Carol Mcgiffen, the loosest of the loose women, famously paraded her knickers at the ceremony in 2008.  In an interview she claimed she would not be repeating her antics this year and her excuse was she was drunk and upset at not winning the award.  Funnily enough ‘Loose Women’ did win this year, bully for them.  Someone needs to give these useless ZZ list people a reality check.  An award voted for by the public really doesn’t count considering what a shallow bunch the majority of them are.

The only ceremonies really worth their salt are the Oscars, BAFTAS, the radio Sony Awards and, at a push, the Brits.  Although in recent years the latter has plummeted way downhill.  Once an evening of thrill n spills, now just an abortion of a pantomime with levels reduced to something nearer the NTA.  Shame really because the Brits used to be a cracking show especially at its peak during the Brit Pop years.  Who could forget John Prescott getting water chucked over him by corporate anarchist’s chumbawamba in 1997? Or Brandon Block and Ronnie Wood’s humorous confrontation in 2000? And the wonderfully woeful presentation skills of Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood in 1989!

All we get now is annoying famous people schmoozing to the talentless faces which make up UK mainstream music.  But I guess it was always a bit like that.  Peter Kay, a comedian who has spiralled down in my estimation these past couple of years, is hosting the event this year and I predict an embarrassment.  I shall no doubt watch it anyway, for blogging purposes I’m sure you understand.

The one award ceremony which irritates me more than all the others is the Mercury Music Prize Award.  Sure there’s been some worthy winners and it’s helped catapult the likes of the splendid Dizzee Rascal into the mainstream.  But at the end of the day it’s just so damn corporate.  And in reality a bit of an anti climax since they spend hours hamming up the acts to dish out just the one gong.  Maybe I’m still bitter Scritti Polliti didn’t win when nominated a few years ago. Or jealous I never hit those heady heights in my own media career where I get invited to consume free champagne and indulge in excess schmoozing.  A bit of both I would suggest.

Depressing Football

Tuesday 19^th January 2010

Clearly all is not well at Cambridge United right now.  As any fan of lower level football will tell you, the game from down here looking up can be a depressing business.  Things have taken a turn for the worse recently at my beloved club and whilst the majority of footy loving fans will be nestling in their armchairs or down the pub sipping a refreshing pint watching the Manchester derby on BBC1; I and a smattering of die-hard United supporters will be braving the elements to watch an FA Trophy tie against Eastbourne Boro in what has become a must win game for us.

Eastbourne and their 14 travelling supporters were the visitors at the Abbey on Saturday.  A team bereft of confidence, without a league win since September, were expected to be rolled over with relative ease despite Cambridge’s own sketchy recent form.  As the match unfolded I had an impeding sense of doom.  I felt it in me water we were going to lose and was sadly proved correct when 10 mins into the second half, Jamie Taylor scored what proved to be the winner in what turned out to be Eastbourne’s only serious attack of the game.  Even more annoying it was from a badly defended corner.

Them is the breaks when things are going bad; and with just one league win (and that a lucky hardly deserved injury time winner in a drab encounter against bottom of the table Chester City last month) in over two months, things are certainly not looking rosy right now.  Four league defeats on the bounce have seen United plummet to 14^th in the table.  Continue like this and we might well have a relegation battle on our hands.  No need to panic just yet but there is most certainly cause for some concern.

Naturally when results are poor, supporters begin calling for the manager’s head.  Given the opportunity, I think some would have him publically executed and his head stuck on a spike outside the ground.  Yet I can’t help feeling an enormous amount of sympathy for Martin Ling.  He’s come to the club in difficult circumstances grappling with a vastly reduced wage budget, players underperforming, board room upheavals and the usual financial problems that are associated with the majority of football clubs up and down the land.

That doesn’t mean to say Mr Ling should not be exempt from criticism.  To give him credit he hasn’t moaned once about the difficult circumstances the club faces right now and I’ve found his post-match comments an honest assessment.  However there is no excuse for playing Andy Parkinson, probably one of the worst and most ineffectual ‘footballers’ to wear the united shirt.  And that’s flipping saying something.  However I also sympathize with Parky; he sustained a nasty injury last season and has never been the same since.  He sure tries his best but at 30 his most productive days are way behind him.  On the bright side our academy has produced a number of promising youngsters who due to injuries and suspensions are getting some match time under very difficult circumstances.  Coping with such an environment can only help develop their talent although the ring of boos at the final whistle on Saturday might dent their confidence.  On the whole they’ve played very well; it’s the senior and experienced pros that are letting the side down.

It’s incredible to think last May we were an inch away from the Promised Land of the football league.  If only we could have scored the four goals needed against Altringham to win the title on the last game of the season or actually played any football in the play off final against Torquay (we limped to a deserved 2-0 defeat) at Wembley we certainly wouldn’t be in this predicament.  Those trips to the likes of Notts County and Barnet plus participation in the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy and League Cup will have to be put on the backburner once more.

Fast forward eight months and it feels like we’re back to square one; a team in dire need of reshaping, leadership and direction.  A club that needs to sort itself out both on and off the pitch.  The message board has injected itself into rumour overdrive about recent events.  I tend to steer clear of such discussions as all I want is to watch some bloody decent football (and I think I speak for the majority of supporters on this one here).  As a programme seller I do get to hear various rumours some of which ring true and some which are complete fabrication.  One thing I have detected is that running a football club, it would seem, is not an easy business!

As anyone who’s played Football Manager will know, turning around bad form is no easy task (five games without a win on my current game and fast running out of ideas!).  The current situation reminds me of three years when under Jimmy Quinn we lost seven games on the bounce.  That included a humiliating defeat to then Conference South local rivals Histon 5-0, a result which still pains us united supporters today.  Rubbish teams were coming to the Abbey and getting a result much like they are today.  At the end of that dismal run, just about every supporter was calling for Quinn’s head with ferocious passion despite only being in the job a few months.  I distinctly remember posting a message board thread titled ‘Jimmy Quinn – Most Hated United Manager Ever?’ which in hindsight was a little over the top and melodramatic!  Quinn came good in the end and took us to the play off final the next season.

If there’s one thing I learnt from that whole charade is that a new manager needs to be given time.  It’s the easy option to just call for his head after a string of defeats but the bigger picture needs to be studied.  Ling has a much reduced budget to work with, an assistant already employed by the club beforehand (so his right-hand man was bestowed upon him as opposed to the usual route of hand picking your own number two), injuries and suspensions a plenty plus a bunch of soon to be out of contract pros who clearly are no longer interested in playing for the club.  Problem is if they don’t perform he won’t be able to ship them out during the current transfer window so we’ll be stuck with their ‘talents’.  Also those who played and lost at Wembley two seasons running seem to be scarred from the experience.  One thing I do know though is something has to give.  Clearly the team can’t keep on losing and if you cannot beat the Eastbourne’s of this world, something is seriously wrong.

A sparse crowd is expected at the Abbey tonight but it is a fantastic chance for these players to stand up and be counted.  A run in the FA Trophy has now become a must since the league campaign has fizzled out dramatically over the course of those four defeats.  Plus if we could get to the final there’s some decent revenue to be attained.  To lose once at home to Eastbourne is slapdash; to do it twice in the space of four days is unforgivable.  However the pressure of what has become a must win game may well get to the players since they are bereft of ideas and confidence right now.  This is where you need to earn your money Mr Ling; get them motivated and get the lads back to winning ways!

I foresee an air of nervousness around the ground tonight but strangely I’m looking forward to the match and do think we’ll win.  Don’t really care how we do it either but it’s imperative we win the game, even a draw would be a disappointment.  As a football supporter you have to remain hopeful even during dark days and we’ve suffered plenty of those in recent seasons.  Expectation levels on the back of two play off final Wembley appearances have been somewhat unrealistically raised.  Supporters at the very least expect us to be in the top ten even taking into account the upheavals at the club since that nice but disappointing day out at Wembley last May.  It’s make or break time; a win and everything will seem a little more rosy.  Defeat tonight is unthinkable.

Stop Complaining, Get On With It!

Tuesday 19^th January 2010

I sometimes despair at my own stupidity.  Last Friday I got a stark reminder why I should never drink alone (ok some of the drinking was done in the company of others down the legion but the killer was consuming half a bottle of whiskey when I got home!).  Subsequently I spent the entire weekend foul-mouthed, hung over, irritable, suffering from a bad back and eating like a horse.  And I haven’t even started on how rubbish the football was at Cambridge on Saturday (saving that for the next blog)! It was no surprise the depression returned (for one self-inflicted weekend only!).  Things were put firmly in prospective when I switched on the news, watched the awful events developing in Haiti and told meself to wake up, wise up and stop complaining.  Honestly I’m as pathetic as the next Brit… moaning for the sake of it and feeling sorry for me when in reality things are nowhere near as bad as they seem. Often in life a reality check is just what one needs!

I’ve struggled to get back into the diet since New Year but since binge drinking at the weekend and getting over the recovery I now find myself with renewed energy on the task in hand.  The only solution is to inject a new phase of alcohol absenteeism.  I feel better already since it’s been proved that, in general, me and alcohol really don’t mix.  I’m taking my dear old mum for a well-earned holiday to Devon in April and have vowed to abstain until then.  Now I’ve made that decision laced with a couple of days of healthy living and exercise I feel better already.

Sometimes you simply have to put life into prospective and thinking about the appalling suffering others endure firmly implemented how ridiculous I was being.  Therefore I was thankful to get right back on track with speed and haste and not wallowing in an abundance of self-pity that really wasn’t necessary given the circumstance.  I was beating myself up far too much over the weekend.  When you take a step back, look at the bigger picture and realize how stupid you’re being, it certainly puts things in prospective.  So it’s with renewed energy I’m penning this blog this morning.  You occasionally have to take a wee step back to move forwards, rerun previous mistakes and make them again!  Maybe I’ll never learn!

Still despite my inactivity in the writing department it’s not all been an overabundance of excess idleness these past few days.  I’ve gone back into the heady world of DIY and, for a change, the items assembled didn’t collapse the second they were assembled.  It caused many a frustrating moment mind and I spent an hour trying to work out why there were no operational gears on my new exercise bike.  I felt incredibly stupid when consulting the manual and the solution was relatively simple and to be found in the ‘troubleshooting’ section.  Oh deary deary me how daft can one human being possibly be? I immediately stuck on a dunce hat, ordered myself to stand outside class and write 100 lines ‘I will consult the troubleshooting section of the manual instead of being stupid’.

The look of confusion on my face as I grappled with the problem must have been priceless to any fly on the wall (if they weren’t sunning themselves in Jamaica this time of year).  I simply couldn’t work it out and went through the instructions time and time again.  It was only when I was at the point of becoming so frustrated that I was ready to chuck the ruddy thing out or demolish it in a temper akin to that of Basil Fawlty, did I realize all it needed was a wee tweaking and it would be fine.  Occasionally I astound myself at my own levels of general thickness.  I was put on this earth to write words of wisdom and talk rubbish on radio programmes, not assemble items badly!  But as my old pal Neil would say it’s “needs must” no-one else is going to do it for me unless I pay them.  I really miss my late father for such matters but he struggled with self-assembly items and he was darn nifty when it came to DIY skills.  I assembled a shelving unit incorrectly and had to reassemble it, again despairing at my useless inability for all things DIY.

The DIY shenanigans also re-inflated my age old back problems and I spent most the weekend in pain which didn’t help my already foul mood.  As Murphy’s Law would have it, I was thinking just the other day how I haven’t experienced any back problems in ages!  I stuck the old ‘curse of death’ on it methinks!  Still with a bit of relaxation, it appears to have cleared now.  It’s been ongoing since I awoke one morning in 1994, aged 25, and couldn’t move!  No idea what triggered it off but it’s been coming and going since.  Doctors have diagnosed a minor rheumatism problem that I’ve been warned will only get worse as I get older.  More reasons to fear old age which is creeping up sooner rather than later!

I’ve now been residing in HQ a year and finally started unpacking boxes and making the place more homely.  I’m not used to this; the thought of permanently living somewhere as I moved around so much before thwacking some roots down here in deepest East Anglia.  All that shifting around did gain me valuable life experience but left me feeling extremely drained and certainly helped contribute to the mild mental health problems I suffered last year.  Now I have a new unit and a bookcase (neither have collapsed as yet!) and it’s all piecing together rather nicely.  I been sorting out tapes and CD’s, found a collection of songs I haven’t seen since 2001 (therefore assuming had been lost) and sorting out junk (but its personal junk and therefore valuable to me, found a whole heap of letters written from friends circa 1989/90 this morning).  I find the whole exercise rather therapeutic have to admit.  Still much work to be done but getting there!

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

Thursday 14^th January 2010

The age old phrase ‘seeing is believing’ has never rung truer.  The title of this movie reeks of something so bad it’s good and I remember on release (straight to DVD naturally) Jonathon Ross saying something on those lines.  This film takes that statement to new, uncharted heights with a level never previously witnessed by movie buffs.  If you have a desire for the rubbish, stupid and downright ridiculous then this is the film for you.

It was with genuine excitement that me and some like-minded friends sat down and watched it over New Year.  Some terrible cable channel with far too much time on their schedule thought it would be a fantastic idea to screen it as part of their New Year festivity viewing.  I’m so glad they did.  When Ross reviewed it, tongue firmly in cheek, I meant to add it to my Love Film rental DVD list but as is usual in brain of Del, completely forgot.  In any case the viewing experience was much better watched in the company of others who have a similar passion for tack.

The film is homage to classic Japanese monster movies of the 60’s usually featuring Godzilla fighting some large plastic creature which doesn’t look very convincing.  The story is irrelevant, some old claptrap about a couple of giant prehistoric creatures who escape from a giant ice capsule.  Subsequently they don’t like each other much nor people, aeroplanes, bridges or oil rigs.

You know what had my jaw dropping in disbelief? It was all Debbie (now known as Deborah in a tragic attempt to be sophisticated) bloody Gibson’s fault.  Since I was watching with younger bods, only one other of the group actually knew who Gibson was.  She had enormous success in the late 80’s with forgotten hits such as ‘Foolish Beat’ and ‘Shake Your Love’.  A transglobal superstar before she was old enough to drink, her career in recent years has become a non-event hence reduced to doing trash like this.

Actually to give credit where it’s due, the Gibson still scrubs up quite well today and her acting ability was just about tolerable.  The same cannot be said for her co-stars who huffed and puffed their way through the ‘action’ having read the Keira Knightly guide to most pathetic wooden acting ever.  So we witnessed scrunched up faces, unconvincing delivery of lines, a terrible script and poor attempts at displaying emotion.  I’ve never claimed to have any ability to act but even I suspect I could’ve done a better job and that’s flipping saying something.

Then there’s the CGI effects… hard to know where to start if truth be told.  One suspects the makers got a free DIY CGI effects disc with a computer mag and couldn’t afford to subscribe the full package.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a film with so many of the same shots repeated over and over again.  The editing was odd as well; just when you get to a scene which stirs a little excitement (such as the shark attacking the golden gate bridge) the scene quickly cuts to something else a little less interesting.

I would like to think the makers were not entirely serious when producing this ‘masterpiece’ but suspect they want it viewed as a serious monster flick.  With acting so bad and effects so woeful it’s difficult (and a little unfair I admit) to compare it with bigger budget monster flicks such as Peter Jackson’s remake of ‘King Kong’.  In fact I have no idea what the makers were intending to produce and I suspect they didn’t either.  What they have done is create a film that is to be laughed at for all the wrong reasons.

However it shouldn’t be taken too seriously and be judged for what it is.  Despite the obvious and predictable downfalls which we all predicted before viewing, this film is a whole heap of fun.  It’s probably the best movie I have ever sat down with a bunch of people and watched.  I can’t remember laughing so much at a film in company of others, a real tonic for the post Christmas blues we were all feeling.  If you’re a fan of tack, rubbish acting, awful effects and a terrible script, this is the film for you!  As long as you delve into it knowing full well what you’re getting, you’ll be fine.  Start looking into it too deeply and disappointment won’t be far away.

I so hope there is a follow up and even a franchise.  The possibilities are endless and I’m sure Debbie’s diary isn’t too full and she’d be available.  At the end we all had smiles on our faces and in an unstable and ever demanding world, that cannot be a bad thing.  What a tonic!

Them Post Festive Blues

Tuesday 12^th January 2010

Things have finally returned to something approaching normal here at HQ.  I went into New Year full of hope and optimism yet find the last few days have been nothing but a blur of lethargy, laziness and numbness.  Ok, I’m being way over dramatic I have to admit but I always feel like this in January and know I’m not alone.  The grand ideas of sitting down in a Stephen Fry style and cutting myself off from the world to write hasn’t quite materialized and I’ve found myself watching televised sport, playing Football Manager and generally not doing much at all.  I do continue to mainly ignore the pitfalls of social networking mind.  Just got a bit bored with it all to be honest.

Thing is I don’t beat myself up about these things anymore.  I started dieting again and went out for a walk on Sunday although ice levels made walking akin to useless reality show ‘Dancing On Ice’.  It’s still a joy to get out in fresh air and the forest looks cracking this time of year. Credit where credit is due mind, I did manage to get some housework done and have grand ideas to set up a wee recording area in the flat.

The idea is to transfer all recordings and do future recording via my late father’s laptop which is an adequate but not brilliant machine.  It should do the job and will be great to have a separate recording area.  Might even get more productive in that field at some point!  Also it gives me a space in the flat where I can sit down and write properly (with a nice view out the window to boot!).  Working on the main computer brings too many distractions!

January is without doubt the darkest month of the year.  We get ourselves all in a false state of euphoria over Christmas and New Year; only to find out, as usual, it’s a complete non event.  You forget about the trials and tribulations of life, brushing things to one side, then suddenly all the fuss dies down and the realization kicks in that life is back to normal.  Oh well things could be a hell of a lot worse I suppose.

The media continue to get their knickers in a twist about the weather which has improved these past couple of days here in East Anglia.  I mean come on what is it with this country and mass panic when there’s a few snowflakes and a smattering of ice.  Ok this winter has been pretty harsh but does it warrant the main news story every day?  Typical Britain, any excuse to shut up shop and we’ll take it.

I was reading about how Briton’s are now panic buying.  I can understand if you live out in the country but come on people this is the 21^st century!  Sometimes I fear we’re hurtling back to middle age attitudes.  Levels of provisions I noticed in baskets over Christmas were bad enough, now with a wee temperature drop it’s a proper case of smelling the brown stuff kicking in.

This morning I’ve awoken with a better attitude and feel I am coming out the void I’ve created around myself these past few days.  In fact, it’s taken me a couple of days to construct a less than two pages blog!  However, today with a good nights sleep behind me I feel somewhat invigorated.  These lulls post festivity periods are common with me and many others I think.  So I don’t feel alone on this one!

Made a call to citizen’s advice and am about to pop over and try and sort out the financial mess I’ve got myself into.  Quite how I racked up 38 grand worth of debt is beyond me but it’s happen so not point in worrying too much.  Only I and half the nation is in this kind of pickle!  I made a smart move by opening an idiot free bank account last year and making sure all my utility bills are getting paid.  If creditors are stupid enough to give me the ridiculous credit they did, they deserve all they get.

I fear bankruptcy is my only option having weighed up all the pros and cons.  Barring a big lottery win or an appearance on ‘Deal Or No Deal’ where I was bestowed with some extremely good fortunes, there’s no way I’ll be able to pay back that kind of money.  I’ve phoned debt advice people who’ve told me I can either offer to pay a pound a month or go bankrupt.  To me it seems pointless paying a small amount to the 10 companies I owe to.  Time to make a clean break, hold my hands up and admit I’m rubbish with other people’s money and make a fresh start.  Will certainly try and improve my approach in the future.

Honesty is indeed the best policy I feel and it’s time to get it sorted, move on and look ahead not backwards.  I don’t feel any shame in letting my finances spiral so out of control but do feel a little silly and extremely slapdash.  A lesson has been learned for sure.  Onwards and upwards!